The Crap-tastic Tale of the Shirt

Chris Britt, the blogger behind Magic Interviews (a blog I strongly encourage you to visit, as it contains some amazing interviews with the top names in magic), e-mailed me an excerpt from 1939’s “Patter and Rhyme” book. (For my previous entry on political correctness and old magic books, click here.) It's an entry for the torn-and-restored Chinese Laundry Ticket and is pretty un-PC by today's standards. Enjoy.

When your secretary engaged me for the programme here tonight
To look my best was my desire, I aimed to be just right;
So to the Chinese Laundry with my shirts I did retreat
And in Exchange for shirtee, Charlie Chink gave me receipt.

I took the laundry ticket home as fast as I was able
But should have had more sense than leave it lying on the table,
For Junior got a hold of it and had a ripping time—
He tore it in a hundred bits, or perhaps ‘twas ninety-nine.

I guessed my shirt was gone for good, but hurried round to see,
And sure enough old Charlie said “No ticket, No Shirtee”;
I said “Well, here’s the pieces, can’t I claim my shirt with these?”
And Charlie said “Me show you just how smart are we Chinese”.

He took the pieces in his hands and squeezed them for a while—
“Now watch me very closely” said old Charlie with a smile;
He spoke some funny Chinese words that were all Greek to me,
But when he spread his hands apart, all I could say was GEE.

I said “Boy, that’s a dandy trick, that’s one I’d like to do”,
But Charlie said “Me no explain, me give Shirt back to you”.