This Better Be A Joke

No, seriously, if the blog, A Magician's Tale, is not a joke I think I may cry. I just don't want to believe that there are people claiming to be professional magicians who are like "Magical Phil."

Here's a few of my favorite quotes (and trust me - there are a crapload more):


- "Anyway, the other thing that I discovered is that the club I've been working at is not what it seems. Now, I don't want anyone to take offense at this, but I found out that it's a gay club. Now this explains a lot of things...It also explains the pictures that 'Magician X' sent me and why he kept inviting me back to his house. He wasn't there again last night so I guess, since he saw me with Kylie, he's decided I'm a lost cause... which, I think, is just as well." (from April 30th post)


- Which makes this post from April 16th go from "nice" to "absolutely hilarious":

"Once I had finished we had a good long chat again and he explained that he has been doing cigarette tricks for almost 40 years!!! He said he entered his cigarette routine in a competition years ago and won. He also told me he had done an act dressed as the bikie from the Village People, which explains one of the pictures he emailed me.

I told him about the trouble I had with the balloon swallowing and he explained that I had hit my "gag reflex" (which I thought was a joke, you know, a gag, but he was being serious). He showed me some techniques for relaxing my throat and explained that my throat and mouth need to be in a straight line.

Again, he wanted to chat more over at his place but I explained that, although I'm a professional magician, I do have another job too"


- And finally (until tomorrow when I write a little more about this):

"ALSO - I am NOT getting my magic from YouTube anymore. I get it from www.learnmagic.org okay?...Look, I'm out there performing okay? Where are you???"



Vomiting, Magical Phil. Vomiting because statements like that make me extremely, extremely nauseous.