Stock Line Crap [UPDATED]
How many times have you been asked this during a performance: "Can you make my wife disappear?"
Or during a restaurant gig, have you ever been asked: "Can you make my check disappear?"
Or during a bill switch: "Can you do that to all my singles?"
There are questions that you get over and over again as a magician. The laymen who make them really honestly think that they are being creative and clever when they say them. This is where your major opportunity comes in: because spectators think that they are being spontaneous with these questions, you can score major "funny points" by stockpiling responses to these questions, especially because apparently improved lines are much funnier than obviously scripted ones.
So here's the plan: Everybody submit the questions you've been asked over and over again, as well as your answers to them. The goal is to create a sort of library of these questions and the lines that you can respond with in order to make you as prepared as possible. Please e-mail me or add a comment to the post with your questions and responses!
I'll start the library off with these (and feel free to add your own!):
"Can you make my wife disappear?"
Alain Nu: "I would, but I need all the audience I can get."
David Oliver: "Funny, she asked the same thing about you just a moment ago!"
Kevin James: [removes tally counter from pocket and clicks button without saying a word]
Other magicians: "Sure, but it'll cost you double."
"Can you make my check disappear?"
"If I did that, do you really think the restaurant will really keep me around here?"
"Sure, but it'll cost you $100 in materials."
"Can you make my singles into hundreds now?"
Gregory Wilson: "No prob, but it takes 24 hours to do that. So just leave all the cash here and come back in 24 hours when I have it ready for you."
Other magicians: "If I could do that, don't you think I'd be relaxing in the Bahamas by now?"
So, e-mail me or add a comment to the post to contribute to this library. I'll make an updated post later this week compiling all of our answers. Just think about what a great resource this will be if everybody contributes something, so please do!
[UPDATE: Brad Henderson e-mailed me today to correct one of my attributions. Although Adam Rubin related to me the use of the clicker as a response to the question, the originator of this idea is Kevin James. Much thanks to Brad and to Kevin!]
Or during a restaurant gig, have you ever been asked: "Can you make my check disappear?"
Or during a bill switch: "Can you do that to all my singles?"
There are questions that you get over and over again as a magician. The laymen who make them really honestly think that they are being creative and clever when they say them. This is where your major opportunity comes in: because spectators think that they are being spontaneous with these questions, you can score major "funny points" by stockpiling responses to these questions, especially because apparently improved lines are much funnier than obviously scripted ones.
So here's the plan: Everybody submit the questions you've been asked over and over again, as well as your answers to them. The goal is to create a sort of library of these questions and the lines that you can respond with in order to make you as prepared as possible. Please e-mail me or add a comment to the post with your questions and responses!
I'll start the library off with these (and feel free to add your own!):
"Can you make my wife disappear?"
Alain Nu: "I would, but I need all the audience I can get."
David Oliver: "Funny, she asked the same thing about you just a moment ago!"
Kevin James: [removes tally counter from pocket and clicks button without saying a word]
Other magicians: "Sure, but it'll cost you double."
"Can you make my check disappear?"
"If I did that, do you really think the restaurant will really keep me around here?"
"Sure, but it'll cost you $100 in materials."
"Can you make my singles into hundreds now?"
Gregory Wilson: "No prob, but it takes 24 hours to do that. So just leave all the cash here and come back in 24 hours when I have it ready for you."
Other magicians: "If I could do that, don't you think I'd be relaxing in the Bahamas by now?"
So, e-mail me or add a comment to the post to contribute to this library. I'll make an updated post later this week compiling all of our answers. Just think about what a great resource this will be if everybody contributes something, so please do!
[UPDATE: Brad Henderson e-mailed me today to correct one of my attributions. Although Adam Rubin related to me the use of the clicker as a response to the question, the originator of this idea is Kevin James. Much thanks to Brad and to Kevin!]
posted by Pagliacci @ 4:48 PM
2 Comments:
At 1:06 AM ,
Rick Carruth said...
When someone ask if I can disappear their wife, my two stock replies, (depending on how big the guy is ), is.. " If you told her where you were the other night when you came home late from work, I'll bet you could make her disappear." and " OK. But I charge extra. Who's paying for it.. you or your girlfriend?"
"Can you make my singles into hundreds now?" " No. But for something a little different.. I'll be glad to turn your hundreds into singles."
"Can you make my check disappear?"
" I'm afraid if I do, the manager will perform a little magic and make my check disappear."
At 2:05 AM ,
MCX Tips said...
Sensex sheds 100 points, Rupee slips
The BSE Sensex and Nifty fell over 0.50 per cent in afternoon trade amid across-the-board decline. Volatility was seen because of derivative expiry today.
The rupee also slipped past 63.50 levels after the dollar index moved above the key 90 level for the first time since March 2006 after strong US and UK economic data.
The Sensex fell over 150 points after it hit 27,342.80 at its day's low. Strong selling pressure in oil
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