International News Crap

As if Uncle Joey's rendition of the "Quarter from the Ear" routine wasn't enough to completely soil the reputation of magic for most folks, we now have this schmuck to contend with:

From the Daily Times:


British magician to entomb himself — in cheese

British magician Noah Kelly announced bold plans Wednesday to entomb himself in 320 kilograms of mature Cheddar cheese for 48 hours next month.

“This is an endurance test. I’m not going to wimp out and use a mild cheese,” said Kelly, 32, who’ll perform his stunt at a shopping mall in his hometown of Weston-super-Mare, in the west of England, on March 20.

Kelly said he got the idea while lying in a bathtub thinking of US celebrity street magician David Blaine, who spent 62 hours inside a big ice cube in New York’s Times Square last November.

“I was thinking how cheesy what he did was, and then from there I thought that I could do it surrounded by cheese,” he said. —AFP

[Credit to Utterly Boring for posting the link]


Holy crap guys! If you thought the reaction to David Blaine's Above the Below was bad, can you even imagine this shit?

But it can't get worse, right? It's not like magicians are getting arrested for unwittingly transporting props that can be used as deadly weapons, right? Oh...crap...dammit!


From Scotland's Daily Record:

Spellbanned
A magician had his new wand confiscated by cops after it was found to be a prohibited weapon.

Malcolm Wilson, stage name Magic Malky, was stunned to find out his £100 Big Bang wand fired bullets.

Police ballistics experts told him: "You can't have that," when he asked them if his blank- firing wand was legal.

Last night, the 28-year-old urged other magicians to hand any potentially dodgy wands to police for checks.

Malcolm, of Ayr, said: "I've not been cautioned or charged but I don't want other magicians to get into bother.

"I had always wanted a Big Bang wand but now it seems it's regarded as something like a weapon from a James Bond film. When the wand fires blanks it makes a loud bang and lets off a little smoke.

"But because there's a hole in the top to allow the gases and smoke to escape, the police told me the wand can fire live bullets."

Malcolm, a full-time magician for the last 10 years, added: "The wand came sealed in a plastic bag along with three blank bullets. There were safety instructions but nothing about firearms certificates or the fact that it's a dangerous weapon.

"Everyone's been having a laugh about it and saying I could have gone out with a bang."

A police insider joked: "We know magic wands can be used to make people disappear but that's probably best avoided in the criminal sense of the word."

A police spokeswoman thanked Magic Malky for bringing the wand to their attention but urged other magicians to be vigilant.

She added: "Anyone who has bought this wand is advised to hand it in to their local police station for examination."

[Credit to Cronaca for posting the link.]


Well, let's hope that if Malcolm Wilson (a.k.a "the Big Bang Boy") does accidentally shoot somebody, that that somebody is Noah Kelly (a.k.a. "the Cheesy Crapmeister").

Oh, magic.