Average Crap

So, I was watching Average Joe tonight when I discovered - to my utmost horror - that one of the contestants was a magician. Now, I don't always cringe when I see magicians on reality shows (case in point, Nathan Burton on E! Entertainment's "The Entertainer"), but, in this case, what made Nick so geeky was his magic. Do you want proof? First, look at the guy:


Second, check out the way Nick answered the questions in his bio. Nick was asked six questions and mentioned magic in THREE of them. That's HALF of the questions!

Nick annoyed all of the guests in the house by insisting on doing magic all the time. He also introduced himself to Anna, the woman he wanted to woo, by saying, "Hi, I'm Nick. I'm a magician from Tampa." WHAT THE FUCK?!? That's NOT how you introduce yourself, at least if you don't want to go home alone.

I'm not alone on this. Anna eliminated Nick in the FIRST round. However, Nick was allowed to get a make-over and will eventually return to the show. The best part of this episode was what the life coach said to Nick. While I can't quote directly, the gist of what she said was this, "You can't let magic dominate everything you do. Talking about magic all the time is BORING. Plus, if all you do is magic you become a sideshow freak attraction." Yes, the life coach actually said that his magic had made him a "sideshow freak attraction."

Nathan's breakthrough: "The next time I introduce myself to a woman, I won't say, 'Hi, I'm Nick and I do magic,' I'll say 'Hi, I'm Nick. How are you?'"

Guys, do I have to explain the lesson behind this? Magic is great, but only sparingly. It shouldn't be the first thing you ever tell a girl and it shouldn't be a majority of what you tell her about yourself. Magic is a vehicle: drive the vehicle - don't let the vehicle drive you.

I should copyright that.