Lessons in Magic You Won't Learn Anywhere Else: Magic and Girls
Yes, I've made fun of the fact that some kids get into magic thinking that it'll get them laid. However, I think that this fact makes it even more important for me to publish some of these tips about girls and magic. (If you're a female and you're reading this blog, I apologize. If you'd like to call me though and talk personally about something else, e-mail me for my number. Just kidding. Okay, not really. Okay, really. Okay, I'm going to stop this miserable attempt at picking up chicks in my post about picking up chicks, despite the wonderful and delicious irony. Yes, delicious.)
So, without further ado, here are the lessons in magic you won't learn anywhere else about magic and girls:
(1) Magic is a tool, not a crutch.
Magic may add to your total package (not that package, you schmuck), but it's not the whole package. Learn how to pick-up women first before ever attempting to throw magic into the mix.
(2) Learn how to stop.
This is probably the most important rule out of any of them. Magic is a great ice-breaker, but if you ever let it dominate the conversation, you're done with - you go from "cool guy who has a cool talent" to "dorky guy who's only redeeming characteristic is his dorky talent." Even if a girl seems to be enjoying your tricks, even if she out-and-out asks to to continue with tricks when you try to stop, YOU MUST STOP! Tell her that you'll be happy to show her more tricks...over dinner (or at home, or on a date, or... well, you get the drift).
(3) Use magic as a "code word."
This is a really juicy piece of advice I shouldn't really be giving you. Many women don't want to directly say what they want to do: for example, it's rare you'll hear a girl say, "You know what? Let's just go back to your place and have sex right now." However, you can use the "code word" system to allow them to indirectly communicate that to you. This will take an example for this to make sense.
Say you want to hook-up with a girl. You're getting really close and you're not sure if she's that into you or not. You and her are deciding what to do next, so you spring this question on her:
"Hey, we should totally watch a movie. We can watch that comedy movie with some of our friends or that really scary movie alone in the dark together."
Notice what the latter choice really was - an excuse to get her alone in the dark and give her an excuse to cuddle up close. Girls aren't stupid - they realize that that's exactly what the second option involves. Essentially, with that question you're allowing the girl to choose between staying platonic for the moment or shacking it up and taking things to the next level; you're giving the girl the vocabulary to say, "Yes, I do want to hook-up with you" without having to actually say it. From that point on, if this girl tells you that she's ready to "see that scary movie," you know what she's talking about.
So how the hell does this apply to magic? Simple. Use magic as your code word. Do a magic trick, but before your revelation say, "Hey, so if I get this right, can I get whatever I want?" (You have to say this in a half-joking, half-serious tone to pull this off; see the next rule.) Clearly, you're insinuating that if she agrees, the relationship goes to the next level if you get the card right (which she'll assume will happen because why else would you ask?). Therefore, you're giving her an indirect way for her to agree to hook-up with you (or whatever) by setting up this "magic deal." The added bonus of this approach is that if she says, "Yes," and you get the card right (really, if you don't get the card right after she agrees, you're a fucking douche and should be ashamed of yourself), you can say, "Well, you know what, I know I'm supposed to get whatever I want, but you know what? You can do whatever you want to me." (Get the beauty of this? Instead of gauging how far this girl wants to go with you, you get her to do it for you! Plus, you come off as a kind, considerate guy, instead of the slick dog you really are!)
(4) Learn to be half-serious and half-joking.
This is another great rule. If you're nervous about asking a girl to do something with you (like go out on a date, for example), employ the half-joking, half-serious tone. Here's an example:
[In a half-joking, half-serious tone] "While you're at it, put your cell number on the playing card, too."
Now, we're talking about using this line at a bar, one-on-one - not in front of a friggin' audience. I've seen magicians use this as a joke (they never intend to get the number) but the line can also be employed seriously. You see, you want the girl to comply with a request (in this instance, giving you her phone number) but you also don't want to be flat-out rejected. This technique allows you to achieve both goals: if the girl is willing to comply, she'll take the line as a request and if she's not, she'll take it as a joke. Notice that she only takes the line as a request if she'll comply, so you're never getting a negative answer to your request this way.
(5) Learn how to stop.
No, seriously. It's the most important rule, so important that I'm repeating it. You really need to learn how to stop and shift from magic (which is centered on you and you being "better" than her) to her (where the focus needs to be).
(6) Cards scare that crap out of women in social situations.
Actually, scratch that: cards scare the crap out of EVERYONE in social situations. While some of the examples in the above rules may have implied that you can use card tricks to pick up women, you can't. When you whip out a deck of playing cards on a girl, you're practically telling her, "Hey, I'm a freak who always carries a deck of cards with me, no matter where I am." The real struggle with using magic to pick-up women is trying to straddle the line between "cool talent" and "freakish hobby." Whipping out playing cards assures that you fall squarely on the "freak" side. Ditto obvious magic props. (That means put away your Hot Rod, man - and your cheap plastic rod covered with fake gems on two sides of it.)
(7) Stick with intimate, "her-centered" tricks; stay away from "magic-y," you-centered tricks.
If you really, positively, have to do a trick, use these guidelines for selecting your effect:
Stick with tricks that:
- Give you an excuse to playfully touch the girl (don't be stupid!) or, more importantly, gaze into her eyes.
- Show that you may have special powers, but only in a mysterious kind of way (YES: "Man, I've been having this weird feeling, like I can sense something. It doesn't always work, but I can see if it works with you"; NO: "I have magic powers! I can read your mind! Want to see?"
- Intimate that there's a special connection between you and her
- Center on her (YES: "This trick only works for certain people. I think this just may work if you're involved." NO: "Look what I can do! I figured out your card!")
- Are impromptu and/or use readily available items in your setting (I'll clarify this one because it's important: You'll look weird and freakish if you seem prepared for a magic performance. Girls realize that you have to practice to learn these tricks, but if they think that you came prepared, they're going to think that you need magic as a crutch.)
Stay away from tricks that:
- Focus too much on you
- Are excessively "magic-y" (example: NO multiplying sponge rabbits)
- Take too long or have many, many phases
- Have a story-driven plot (unless you want to play the cutesy, humor card and try to act out something like Cannibal Cards, odds are you're going to strike out if you try to do a story trick because it'll just make you look really weird)
- Reveal a lot of preparation
(8) Learn how to stop.
I'm not kidding when I say how important this is.
*** Those are all the rules, but here's the real advice: when meeting girls, just be yourself. Magic is part of who you are, so being yourself probably involves a bit of magic at one point or another. That's cool. You just need to make sure that a girl realizes that that's not the only facet to your personality. Use magic as a tool to show the opposite sex the actual parts of your personality that she would enjoy: your humor, your charisma, your sincerity. The biggest mistake magicians make is that they assume that the magicians who do get the girls got the girls because of their magic. They didn't. They got the girls because their natural personality bled through their magic and the girls were attracted to that. If you can get your magic to do that, you'll have the girl - and a successful career in magic, too. ***
Didn't expect it to get that deep, huh?
So, without further ado, here are the lessons in magic you won't learn anywhere else about magic and girls:
(1) Magic is a tool, not a crutch.
Magic may add to your total package (not that package, you schmuck), but it's not the whole package. Learn how to pick-up women first before ever attempting to throw magic into the mix.
(2) Learn how to stop.
This is probably the most important rule out of any of them. Magic is a great ice-breaker, but if you ever let it dominate the conversation, you're done with - you go from "cool guy who has a cool talent" to "dorky guy who's only redeeming characteristic is his dorky talent." Even if a girl seems to be enjoying your tricks, even if she out-and-out asks to to continue with tricks when you try to stop, YOU MUST STOP! Tell her that you'll be happy to show her more tricks...over dinner (or at home, or on a date, or... well, you get the drift).
(3) Use magic as a "code word."
This is a really juicy piece of advice I shouldn't really be giving you. Many women don't want to directly say what they want to do: for example, it's rare you'll hear a girl say, "You know what? Let's just go back to your place and have sex right now." However, you can use the "code word" system to allow them to indirectly communicate that to you. This will take an example for this to make sense.
Say you want to hook-up with a girl. You're getting really close and you're not sure if she's that into you or not. You and her are deciding what to do next, so you spring this question on her:
"Hey, we should totally watch a movie. We can watch that comedy movie with some of our friends or that really scary movie alone in the dark together."
Notice what the latter choice really was - an excuse to get her alone in the dark and give her an excuse to cuddle up close. Girls aren't stupid - they realize that that's exactly what the second option involves. Essentially, with that question you're allowing the girl to choose between staying platonic for the moment or shacking it up and taking things to the next level; you're giving the girl the vocabulary to say, "Yes, I do want to hook-up with you" without having to actually say it. From that point on, if this girl tells you that she's ready to "see that scary movie," you know what she's talking about.
So how the hell does this apply to magic? Simple. Use magic as your code word. Do a magic trick, but before your revelation say, "Hey, so if I get this right, can I get whatever I want?" (You have to say this in a half-joking, half-serious tone to pull this off; see the next rule.) Clearly, you're insinuating that if she agrees, the relationship goes to the next level if you get the card right (which she'll assume will happen because why else would you ask?). Therefore, you're giving her an indirect way for her to agree to hook-up with you (or whatever) by setting up this "magic deal." The added bonus of this approach is that if she says, "Yes," and you get the card right (really, if you don't get the card right after she agrees, you're a fucking douche and should be ashamed of yourself), you can say, "Well, you know what, I know I'm supposed to get whatever I want, but you know what? You can do whatever you want to me." (Get the beauty of this? Instead of gauging how far this girl wants to go with you, you get her to do it for you! Plus, you come off as a kind, considerate guy, instead of the slick dog you really are!)
(4) Learn to be half-serious and half-joking.
This is another great rule. If you're nervous about asking a girl to do something with you (like go out on a date, for example), employ the half-joking, half-serious tone. Here's an example:
[In a half-joking, half-serious tone] "While you're at it, put your cell number on the playing card, too."
Now, we're talking about using this line at a bar, one-on-one - not in front of a friggin' audience. I've seen magicians use this as a joke (they never intend to get the number) but the line can also be employed seriously. You see, you want the girl to comply with a request (in this instance, giving you her phone number) but you also don't want to be flat-out rejected. This technique allows you to achieve both goals: if the girl is willing to comply, she'll take the line as a request and if she's not, she'll take it as a joke. Notice that she only takes the line as a request if she'll comply, so you're never getting a negative answer to your request this way.
(5) Learn how to stop.
No, seriously. It's the most important rule, so important that I'm repeating it. You really need to learn how to stop and shift from magic (which is centered on you and you being "better" than her) to her (where the focus needs to be).
(6) Cards scare that crap out of women in social situations.
Actually, scratch that: cards scare the crap out of EVERYONE in social situations. While some of the examples in the above rules may have implied that you can use card tricks to pick up women, you can't. When you whip out a deck of playing cards on a girl, you're practically telling her, "Hey, I'm a freak who always carries a deck of cards with me, no matter where I am." The real struggle with using magic to pick-up women is trying to straddle the line between "cool talent" and "freakish hobby." Whipping out playing cards assures that you fall squarely on the "freak" side. Ditto obvious magic props. (That means put away your Hot Rod, man - and your cheap plastic rod covered with fake gems on two sides of it.)
(7) Stick with intimate, "her-centered" tricks; stay away from "magic-y," you-centered tricks.
If you really, positively, have to do a trick, use these guidelines for selecting your effect:
Stick with tricks that:
- Give you an excuse to playfully touch the girl (don't be stupid!) or, more importantly, gaze into her eyes.
- Show that you may have special powers, but only in a mysterious kind of way (YES: "Man, I've been having this weird feeling, like I can sense something. It doesn't always work, but I can see if it works with you"; NO: "I have magic powers! I can read your mind! Want to see?"
- Intimate that there's a special connection between you and her
- Center on her (YES: "This trick only works for certain people. I think this just may work if you're involved." NO: "Look what I can do! I figured out your card!")
- Are impromptu and/or use readily available items in your setting (I'll clarify this one because it's important: You'll look weird and freakish if you seem prepared for a magic performance. Girls realize that you have to practice to learn these tricks, but if they think that you came prepared, they're going to think that you need magic as a crutch.)
Stay away from tricks that:
- Focus too much on you
- Are excessively "magic-y" (example: NO multiplying sponge rabbits)
- Take too long or have many, many phases
- Have a story-driven plot (unless you want to play the cutesy, humor card and try to act out something like Cannibal Cards, odds are you're going to strike out if you try to do a story trick because it'll just make you look really weird)
- Reveal a lot of preparation
(8) Learn how to stop.
I'm not kidding when I say how important this is.
*** Those are all the rules, but here's the real advice: when meeting girls, just be yourself. Magic is part of who you are, so being yourself probably involves a bit of magic at one point or another. That's cool. You just need to make sure that a girl realizes that that's not the only facet to your personality. Use magic as a tool to show the opposite sex the actual parts of your personality that she would enjoy: your humor, your charisma, your sincerity. The biggest mistake magicians make is that they assume that the magicians who do get the girls got the girls because of their magic. They didn't. They got the girls because their natural personality bled through their magic and the girls were attracted to that. If you can get your magic to do that, you'll have the girl - and a successful career in magic, too. ***
Didn't expect it to get that deep, huh?
posted by Pagliacci @ 2:30 AM
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