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Monday, February 28, 2005

Jesus Crap, Part II

I should also add that the gents at Good Way Magic note that the Jesus Hank "has a pocket large enough to hold a small dog (15") (though possible, we don't recommend using a small dog in our Jesus Hanks)."

Really? You wouldn't recommend placing a small dog in the folds of a hankerchief? Even if you disregarded the humaneness of that, the only way you could get away with the trick is if by some miracle you could get a dog to not only stay perfectly still, but silent, too (and I haven't even mentioned the thought of when and how to load the thing).

Oh, wait a sec - Good Way Magic does have Jesus on its side. I guess they could get away with that miracle.

Jesus Crap

Oh boy! I can't wait to get my hand on a few of these!

I didn't see the connection between this prop and Jesus until I found out about the following story:

You see, the Jews used a primitive version of this gimmick to hold the cross. And just like the new one, it had a "weight distribution system to allow for heavier and larger items to be vanished with out a sag."

When Caiaphas made the crucifix appear, boy was Jesus surprised! I believe the first thing he said after that was, "Wow! How'd you do that? You're really killing me!"

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Flash Crap

First, watch Morto the Magician, a hilarious Flash cartoon written by Steve Martin.

Now, compare it to this less-than-funny cartoon, Morlock the Magician. Notice any similarities?

Morlock is AN EXACT RIP-OFF of the first (albeit shittier music, shittier animation, and shittier art)!

Essentially, this makes "Pass the Fun," which is distributing the bootleg toon, the Magic Makers of Flash animation.

Hey, A Title That Doesn't Have "Crap" In It... Oh wait... Dang it...

Do you know what time it is? Inappropriate magic joke time!

Did you hear that Houdini died of AIDS?
Yeah, he did Magic.

What does Siegfried have in common with a tiger?
They both know what Roy tastes like.

And my personal favorite (as it's my own original joke):

What makes Spongebob different from his girlfriend?
Sponge balls.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Not Crap

"Heard joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says, 'Treatment simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up.' Man bursts into tears. Says, 'But Doctor...I am Pagliacci.'" - Rorschach, Watchmen